We do it every year. Before the clock strikes 12 on December 31, we put to paper the changes we will commit to in the new year. As if tearing the last page off the calendar suddenly clears our slate, to most people a new year brings the possibility of change.
Getting fit, losing weight, eating healthier, getting out of debt, or saving money are some of the most popular New Year’s resolutions.
But while making new year’s resolutions is so popular it almost feels like a rite of passage into the next year, the number of people who actually meet their goals is slim. According to time management firm FranklinCovey, four out of five people who make New Year’s resolutions will break them. A third won’t even make it to the end of January.
Personally, I fall into the majority. This year, as I sat down to write my resolutions, I had the unsettling feeling that I was simply going through the motions of an old habit that rarely begets real changes in my life, so I decided to change my approach. Here’s what I learned from the experts on why most New Year’s resolutions fail and what to do to ensure success.
Step 1: Start Small & Build Trust in Yourself
Psychologist Joseph Luciani isn’t a fan of overachieving New Year’s resolutions that ignore underlying character flaws.
He writes in a U.S. News article, that in order to create any change in our lives, we must first endure the uncomfortable period of building self-discipline and strengthen it as if it were a muscle.
While it’s no easy feat to dig that deep, it is achievable, but he recommends we must first start small. That means that instead of focusing on huge, life-changing goals, you should focus first on the habits that are holding you back and correct those.
If, like many Americans, your goal is to get out of debt in 2020, commit to paying a fixed amount each month and set up recurring payments. Unsubscribe from all shopping newsletters to avoid temptation and try to avoid shopping in excess.
Once you start fixing those small behaviors, says Luciani, you will build up trust in yourself and your word will gain reliability.
In order to do that, though, he advises not to set yourself up for failure by promising to do things you know deep down you won’t actually do. If you know you probably won’t make it a month without your Starbucks coffee, promise to only buy it once a week instead of an unrealistic “never again.” That way you don’t break your word and it slowly starts acquiring new authority.
Step 2: Avoid the Dopamine Trap
Gyms love January. The chain Gold’s Gym has said it sees an average increase of 40 per cent on foot traffic and gym check ins from December to January. But come February, the line at the treadmill is gone and those newly christened gym-lovers conveniently forget they signed up for an entire year’s membership.
A 2010 study by International Health Racquet and Sportsclub Association, found that gyms in the United States had more than 50 million members, who only visit 54 times a year on average, or slightly more than once a week, and that’s not counting the ones who never go.
The rush of dopamine that comes from signing up for a prolonged commitment like a gym membership or purchasing home fitness equipment can be such that it almost feels like we are doing something for our goal, but we’re just spending money and overestimating our commitment to the “this-year-is-the-year-I-finally-get-fit” resolution, say the experts.
So instead of purchasing an expensive Peloton stationary bike for your living room in a motivation high this new year, the advice is to start with what you already have and reward yourself each time you reach a milestone.
For example, you could start by committing to a daily 30 minute walk or doing YouTube workouts as you work up the discipline of exercising regularly.
Step 3: Be S.M.A.R.T.
“Find a better job,” “eat healthier,” “save money,” are popular offenders each year as far as vague resolutions go, but experts say such lack of specificity almost dooms the resolution from the start.
Instead, turn your goal into a S.M.A.R.T. goal so that it’s Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time-bound.
If your goal is to eat healthier, be specific with your goal by saying something like “I will add a side of veggies to my dinner every night,” then make it measurable by setting reminders on your phone and crossing them off every time you do it. By doing this you are not only holding yourself accountable, but you are also getting the instant satisfaction of crossing something off your list. You can also use apps that help you track your nutrition, like My Fitness Pal.
Achievable and realistic might be a bit confusing, but to make your goal attainable you must make sure that you have what it takes to reach it. That is, do you have the skills, talent, or discipline it takes to attain it?
A realistic goal, on the other hand, just asks you to evaluate whether the goal is reasonable for your life given the time you have at hand and your living circumstances. For example, if your goal is to lose 20 pounds in 2020 and that on its own is achievable, it may not be realistic to aim to workout every single day if you’ve never worked out consistently before in your life and your schedule is already tight to begin with.
Keep in mind that setting unrealistic goals only ends up in a failed attempt, which might in turn dissuade you from your goal, thus dooming that New Year’s Resolution yet another year.
Finally, make your goal time-bound by setting a beginning and an end to the period in which you will achieve your goal. Sticking with the losing weight example, give yourself a deadline and for bonus points, divide the end goal into small steps you can achieve without becoming overwhelmed.
Step 4: Set Yourself up for Success
One of my goals for the new year is to improve my concentration skills. It is very hard for me to sit down and only do one thing without interruption for an extended period of time (by this I mean anything more than 10 minutes). My mind starts thinking about a hundred other things and my top distraction is my phone and social media.
If I’m on my computer writing something, at the first pause I make to look at the page, my mind immediately wants to grab the phone and check it. It’s compulsive and it has become a bit of an addiction, so to combat this I am doing something very simple: whenever I have to get work done, I put my phone on airplane mode. Not only that, but I put it away from my sight. Out of sight, out of mind.
But just that is not enough, and I also have to fight the impulse of pulling away from what I’m doing and checking flights to Alaska or Googling if children were fussy eaters in the middle ages.
So, if your resolve this year is to eat healthier, hide the snacks, or better yet, don’t buy them and fill your fridge only with healthy options. If you want to exercise in the morning, sleep in your gym clothes or leave them laid out the night before so you don’t have to think about what to wear and don’t make excuses. The idea is to beat yourself before you even have time to protest. Nobody knows you better than you know yourself.
Step 5: Be Kind to Yourself and Don’t Give Up
No matter how much or how hard you try, the truth of the matter is that you may at some point falter. You may cave and have a second brownie, or you might skip a week or two of going to the gym. Perfection won’t help you reach your goals, but consistency will, and consistency can only work if you return to your goal even after messing up.
Cut yourself some slack when you slip and don’t think that because you messed up once you should quit altogether. You’ll undo all the progress you achieved if you do and you will fail at reaching your goal yet again.
It might help to invite others to join in on your goal, like getting a workout buddy who helps you stay accountable. Other people might find that going public on social media with their goal helps them stay on track. Whatever works just remember, this year could be the year you finally achieve your New Year’s resolutions. Good luck!